PHOTO: Every year the mothers of Oregon State University students are invited to visit campus to see what their kids are doing. Only a few days before mothers showed up, the OSU student newspaper opinion page editor logically ran a piece by Jackie Keating, "Best spots to take your mom," Barometer, Apr. 29, 2015 and Kayla King, "Feminism: Not an ugly word, applicable for anyone, everyone," Barometer, Apr. 29, 2015. Also on the same page was advice to women, who are asked by men for anal sex to do it to their boyfriends on an equal basis, by the "Dr. Sex" advice column written by Kathy Greaves, "Anal sex equality, importance of communication and relationships," Daily Barometer, Apr. 29, 2015, p. 7-8 dailybarometer.com posted Tuesday, April 28, 2015. Greaves' biography says, "Dr. Kathy Greaves is a senior instructor and faculty member in the college of public health and human sciences. Dr."
Dr. Greaves has similarly answered previous questions concerning girls being asked for anal sex by boys, but this time I was motivated to write a letter in response and submit it to the student newspaper, which the student editors ironically chose to print in the "Mom's Weekend" edition that is likely to be read by the parents of students -- and if their parents are looking for proof that college is perverting their daughters, then my letter has provided proof to them! Read the text of my letter later in this post, but first here are some quotes from Dr. Sex's column:
So there are three different issues going on here. The first issue is the fact that he really enjoys anal sex as the penetrator and you don't like it as the recipient. . . To help him understand why you physically don't like being the receiver of anal sex, he needs to be put in the receiver position. . . If he enjoys it, then, as a couple, the compromise is you take turns being the penetrator and the recipient. . .
The second issue going on here is that you want to give him what he likes when it isn't what you like. . . . there is a big difference between you doing something you don't want to do and him not getting to do something he wants to do. . .
. . . my solution above still doesn't address the issue of how much you do not enjoy anal sex emotionally, as my solution is only a compromise on a physical level. I would hope that if your partner is compassionate and empathetic that he wouldn't want you to do something that you dislike on both a physical and an emotional level - just for his pleasure. . .
The third issue is thinking that reaching a compromise about anal sex won't result in anal sex still being an ongoing struggle. . .
(Quoted from Kathy Greaves, "Anal sex equality, importance of communication and relationships," Daily Barometer, Apr. 29, 2015, p. 7-8 dailybarometer.com posted Tuesday, April 28, 2015)
Here is the letter to the editor that Greaves' above opinion piece inspired me to write and submit to the campus newspaper, which the student editors ironically chose to print in the OSU Mom's Weekend edition that will probably be read by many mothers and parents of students:
Dr. Sex (Apr. 29) fittingly advises women to ask male partners be equally receptive to anal sex if they want it; however, this leaves unanswered the common follow-up question, "If my boyfriend loves me pegging him, does this mean he is gay or less of a man?"
In my opinion, no, because every sex survey from Kinsey onward has found many heterosexual men enjoy being fingered during masturbation or pegged by a woman, which is an ancient practice that only recently had a word coined for it by Seattle newspaper columnist Dan Savage.
Women are rightfully anxious because stereotypical pornography, enjoyed by most heterosexual men, popularly associates anal sex with the domination and submission of women.
Heterosexual couples could learn how to reconcile these issues from the subset of gay men who engage in anal intercourse: First, some don't enjoy it and avoid it; Second, many gay men culturally define themselves as tops, bottoms or versatile, based on what they enjoy, in addition to if they enjoy playing in a dominant or submissive role in a relationship.
More scientific answers have been slow in coming, which is why I founded the OSU Foundation Magnus Hirschfeld Fund for research concerning humans or animals with a minority sexual orientation or gender identity.
My vision for this endowment is to enable multi-disciplinary academic research at OSU, ranging from the biological and computer sciences to the social sciences, which I hope will lead to fundamental discoveries and breakthroughs in the understanding of sex.
Thomas Kraemer, OSU Class of 1977
(Quoted from Thomas Kraemer, "In response to Dr. Sex's April 29 column," Barometer, May 1, 2015, p. 11 dailybarometer.com posted Apr. 30, 2015)
See previous posts OSU Foundation Magnus Hirschfeld Fund Agreement (1/4/12) (In honor of Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld (1868-1935) a gay German sex researcher whose books were burned by the Nazis in the 1930's) plus previous posts Dan Savage plugs pegging book (8/10/07), Dan Savage on pegging and straight guys (12/20/06), and No handed cum via pegging for straight guys (7/3/08). (Note Blogger will give a consent warning for objectionable content and the video in this post links to a rotten link no longer in operation)
On the same page and same day my letter ran, was the opinion piece by Brooklyn Di Raffaele, "Abercrombie no longer the 'cool kids table.'" Barometer, May 1, 2015 -- Bloomberg Businessweek also recently ran a story on this fashion business that was recharged a decade ago by a new gay manager who knew the fashion business and he knew how to market to gay men, first, to set the fashion, and then sell to the mass market, which as with all fashion businesses will die off in a few years, as this opinion pieces confirms.
Also see local newspaper article by Staff, "Nearly 50 events highlight OSU's 2015 Moms and Family Weekend," azettetimes.com posted May 1, 2015.
Finally, in another unrelated note for my own reference, OSU Asian students now have a new cultural center. See the local city newspaper article by James Day, "Asian & Pacific Cultural Center ceremony Wednesday," gazettetimes.com posted Ap. 27, 2015 and the student newspaper article by Nicki Silva, "New home, new opportunities for cultural center: Asian and Pacific Cultural Center celebrates grand opening," Barometer, Apr. 30, 2015, p. 4. The APCC is located at 2695 SW Jefferson Way and is open to any and all students. See previous post Rebuilt OSU black cultural center had cross burning in 1976 (4/19/15)